Among the reasons I love the French

I now have yet another counterexample for anyone who has ever used the phrase, “The French are a-holes”. Or, perhaps those of you who have formed another overly generalized opinion about “The French” (which, for most American, refers solely to the Parisians). Two weeks ago, I decided to buy a plant in an attempt to my “apartment” more like a home. So, I went to a local plant shop and began looking around. The girl working at the shop was close to my age; most of the conversation revolved around what kind of plant needs little to no sun, can live inside, and require little maintenance (I ended up with the sweetest-looking plant ever; it’s all spiky with white dots). However, the inevitable question of where my accent is from came up, and we began to discuss our backgrounds and travels (as she has spent time in some Anglo countries). She mentioned the fact that she’s losing her English due to the lack of opportunities to practice it; so, as I was paying for my plant, I gave her my number and e-mail address and told her to call if she ever wanted some English conversation time. She contacted me the next week, and we finally arranged a time to get some coffee tonight. She brought her boyfriend, with whom she is moving to New Zealand in September, and we spent about two and a half hours at a local café getting to know one another.

Now comes the part related to French stereotypes. During our two and a half hour conversation, Emilie and Pascal offered the following: (a) To take me skiing and let me stay with them at her father’s place in the mountains; (b) Do drive me around to local vineyards for wine tasting; (c) To go on various local excursions to places you can only see by car; (d) To go with Emilie to visit Pascal in Montpellier, where he goes to school, and stay with them for a weekend; and (e) To go out with their French friends in Valence so that I can meet and talk to some natives. I’m not sure that they realized how generous they were or how impressionable their generosity was to me, but I was truly overwhelmed. They are some of the most generous people I’ve ever met, and I’ve known them for a grand total of two-and-a-half hours. Oh, and did I mention that Emilie paid for my coffee because I was the “invitée”?

Now, I would not tell all of you to reconsider your opinion of the French population if this was a unique circumstance – but, I can assure you, it is not. In the last two months in France, I have met some of the most generous, welcoming people I have ever met in my life. Yes, it helps that I speak the language. But, more importantly, there is a deeply rooted culture of openness and hospitality in France that can be quickly discovered by simply traveling outside of Paris and speaking a few phrases of French (even if in a pitiful accent). I have to say – as Americans, we do not give these people enough credit. There’s a lot we could learn from them.

In addition to defending my respect for the French, tonight also made me realize, once again, the impact of every seemingly insignificant decision in our lives. First of all, the fact that I even decided to buy a plant was a fluke because (1) I happened to be yearning to spend some money as I walked down the street that day, and (2) I had been passing plant stores every day for weeks without ever going in, and just had a sudden impulse to finally make the purchase. Beyond that, Emilie made the decision to open up conversation unrelated to plants by asking me where I was from; simple, but enough to open a door. Lastly, it was an impulse to leave her my contact information, thinking, “Well, maybe I could actually have a chance to make a French friend…if not, nothing lost.” This is not a though that would come into my mind at every moment of every day; I was just a little more outgoing than usual. Now, as a result of random decisions and actions, the entire landscape of my time in France may have changed; I may end up speaking better French, experiencing the country in a different way, and leaving with friendships that I would not have found otherwise – all because of simple, compulsive decisions. I may even end up being a decent skier! That’s definitely something none of us saw coming!

More than anything, this is a message to myself – an attestation to the benefits of taking chances and stepping outside of one’s box. It may seem to some of you like I am overreacting to the fact that I met just one person; but, anyone who has lived in France and attempted to meet French friends knows just how difficult this can be, and how rewarding it is when it finally happens.

Nick and Carrie: I had breakfast for dinner chez moi tonight (breakfast burritos) and missed having you guys there to share it. Hope you’re carrying on the tradition, too!

Andy: my students seemed to like Kay Kay, but said they liked Death Cab more…sorry. I’ll use the lesson on other classes and see if I can get some better results. Somehow, though, the lesson on Seattle music ended up leading to me spending the last 5 minutes of class defining the term “street cred”. How I get myself into these situations is beyond me.

On another note, I am now tutoring two people for free – clearly, I have been away from American businesses for too long (the going rate for English tutors is 10-15 euros/hour). I don’t know, I just didn’t feel right charging them because I really like them, want them to succeed, and appreciate their desire to learn. Wow, I sound like a teacher already.